Twitterverse

Twitter is, essentially, a mean through which people can share things. Things that matter to them, things that make them laugh, things that made them think, or things they put a lot of effort into. Here are a few things that Twitter shared with me this week. (Note, I'm more of the "things that made me laugh" type person).

Maniacal Toddler
 

People getting all upset that Ryan Gosling wasn't voted Sexiest Man Alive  (funny, but come on people- get your priorities straight)
Exhibit A (on one hand, Feminist Ryan Gosling is funny. On the other hand, Occupy People, although it is 99% a joke, makes me dislike people in general)
Exhibit B
Exhibit C (63 Reasons Why Bradley Cooper Definitely Isn't The Sexiest Man Alive- this one actually made me laugh)


Marcel the Shell,Two
There's a second one! And it is just as good as the first one.



The Crazy Things I Do In Normal Circumstances 
Read this, it's hilarious.



Why I Hate Shopping
If you're too lazy to read this one, just read this one excerpt:

Leggings are not pants. Leggings are similar to pants, in that they cover the leg portion of your body, but leggings are not pants. When one wears a shirt with a pair of leggings and boots, it has an effect similar to walking out of the house in pajama pants. It shows that you had the intention of getting dressed, but somewhere around the halfway point lost your morale.

 So there you go. My little snippet of Twitter this week.

That Can Be My Next Tweet

So, in the exciting news of my life today, I found this site called That Can Be My Next Tweet. As far as I can tell, it gets random bits of all your previous tweets, and spits out an endless supply of tweets that it thinks you might, in some far-off alternate dimension, be likely to tweet. Or, you know... tweet in a drunken haze one night. Mostly, it succeeds at producing hilarious, semi-coherent tweets that could put even the drunkest tweeter to shame. So, without further adieu, here it is... My Top 10 15 Possible Tweets (with possible explanations).


1. 2011 ... sometimes I have a double high-five? 
Because sometimes, all you need to do is ask life politely. 

2. The scary tragedy- Norway gunman kills 80 at an alarming rate.... can enjoy this... I get involved?
And in this alternate twitter dimension, not only do I take pleasure in public shootings, but I want... to join it? Um....

3. Shark Week: River Monsters- NO WHERE IS SAFE. I CAN SMELL IT. Chairman Meow is pregnant.
My keen sense of smell might keep me safe from the fresh water sharks, but nothing will protect me from the spawn of Chairman Meow*.

4 a. !
Because apparently I am enthusiastic about life.
   b. ?
But also confused.


5. PADDLEBOARDINGPADDLEBOARDINGPADDLEBOARDING YAY RIP Jack Layton.
 In the midst of my excitement over paddleboarding, I'm suddenly overcome with the news/reality that Jack Layton has died. And immediately feel the need to pay my respects.

6. Just Announced: Jay-Z and his passion, ability to fight Cystic Fibrosis. Good job UVIC! I have a pic.
I would so very much like to see this picture. Good job supporting the good cause though, Jay-Z.

7. When my best cure is that YOUR STALKING LEVELS ARE NOW UP 200% Congratulations.
 My best cure for  what? My intense lack of creepy friends? But good job... I guess.

8. Right now there are few things freakier in politics in has 100 problems.
This one almost makes sense. In a dramatic, politics-so-twisted-it-scary-but-my-English-no-good-to-express-it kind of way.

9. THESE BEYONCE BABY JOKES ARE TOO EASY. And I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MISS PHYSICS 12 flying high five.
They are easy! But I don't remember this Physics 12 flying high five. It sounds awesome.

10. I jumped out of strictly sandwiches. EXCELLENT PRACTICE FOR MYSELF NEXT YEAR.
What are strictly sandwiches? And why the hell must I practice jumping out of them? Is this that new sport coming to the 2012 Olympics?

11. One week left in life than giant fish. Seriously, wtf!
Wtf indeed. Perhaps I've solved the mystery of the afterlife? It sounds scary.

12. Flying high five. Playlists get involved? From afar, it really scared me.
Because when playlists start high-fiving, you know shit's gotten real.

13. Still get a good day, and hilarious. Beyonce is pregnant. Now Jay-Z and bitch ain't one.
Au contraire, I think this is solid evidence that they will be one? You know, in the form of the child sharing both of their genes? To be fair, I wouldn't have called Beyonce a bitch.

14. PADDLEBOARDINGPADDLEBOARDINGPADDLEBOARDING YAY RIP Rick Rypien, sad to me so far Today my dresser drawers!
Again, my paddleboarding joy is cut short by a celebrity death. However, I get distracted by my bedroom furniture.

15. JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE!
Because sometimes, you just like repeating your friend's names. In cap locks.

Anyways, I suggest (if you have twitter) you give this site a try. Hell, even if you don't have twitter, find a friend/celebrity who has it and use their username (although this will likely be less funny). It is hilarious, and make you appreciate drunk-you's ability to at least make sense online most of the time. If you fit the criteria of both having twitter and reading this blog (cough cough Chelsea and Hilary), you should share you best ones via the comment section. Go on... make me laugh!

*Chairman Meow is the name bestowed upon a neighborhood cat who is known for his incredible stalking/lurking abilities. Not only is he a boy (and therefore should NOT be pregnant), but I'm fairly certain he watches my family while we sleep. And likely takes notes. Unless you have experienced it, it is hard to imagine the utterly weird lurking habits of this cat. This is him, savoring his last moments of stalking me before I move:

Whatever you do, do NOT make eye contact.

Time-lapse part 2

Twitter is actually kind of interesting. And find cool things like this through it:

Vancouver: Fireworks Draw a Crowd from Dave Delnea Images on Vimeo.
The Peak (100.5 yeah!) tweeted this for some reason... cool huh??

Twitter

I'm a little embarrassed to be writing this post...

Remember this?

Well guess what?...

I just got a twitter account. Ughhhh.

After all this time (it's been a long, bitter battle) of being dead-set against making my own account (I'd come to accept other people being into it), my curiosity got the best of me. My brother and sister both have one and seem to enjoy it. And, I realized that it's a pretty good way to keep up with all kinds of things I'm interested in (music, the Canucks, famous internet vloggers..), people on Twitter are generally pretty funny, and 90% of twitter isn't of the "I'm eating a sandwhich/reading a book/on the bus/BLAH BLAH BLAH" variety. Who knew?

So there it is. I wanted to come clean. Hopefully, I won't turn into a twitter-whore, end up spending even more time on the internet (HAH. not.), or anything like that. Who knows, next thing you know I might be getting me a Google+ account.


...just kidding, that'll never happen.

#butseriouslyguysthistwittertakespracticewhatarehashtagsevenfor?

Twitter-twat.

So, I know that I've already mentioned the increasing number of blogs, twitters, tumblrs, etc that seem to be popping up all over the place. In addition to the fact that just about everyone has both a facebook page and at least one e-mail address, it seems like every person alive and over the age of 10 is online. Of course, I am among the guilty. These things don't really bother me, EXCEPT....
Twitter. I was thinking about it a few days ago and it is really just about the most self-absorbed thing ever. "Tweeting" every few minutes I'm eating a sandwich, I love sandwiches!, watching a moviee, etc... really? It's essentially the same as updating your facebook status multiple times a day and hoping that people will be so enthralled in your life that they will find themselves drawn to you, making you famous (...virtually)! Maybe I'm missing something, but I just don't get this whole twitter-craze.








Having hated on twitter, I don't have a problem with tumblr, or tumblr-ee's (?), as long as it isn't "lyfeee omg." Not gunna lie, I even enjoy looking at some of my friends tumblr's from time to time.

..but MAN, did I laugh when I saw this picture (on someone's tumblr... ironic?)


Bright Lights- Matchbox 20

Baby, baby, baby
.