5 Songs You Probably Don't Actually Want Sung To You

An often idealized and/or romanticized thought is that of being serenaded by someone who loves you and, hopefully, you love in return. It happens in movies, books, and approximately 14.2% of daydreams (although this number increases dramatically in the few days immediately following the attendance of most live music shows). Obviously, in these situations, song choice is key. Having someone rap "Baby Got Back," while I'm sure is thoughtful, is not really what most people picture when they imagine being serenaded. Some songs however, sneakily hide behind their lovely sounding melody and tune, trying to sneak themselves into some poor serenader's repertoire. And so I present to you, in no particular order, 5 Songs You Probably Don't Actually Want Sung To You.

#1. Landslide (Stevie Knicks/Fleetwood Mac, The Dixie Chicks)

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I'm getting older too
Oh, I'm getting older too

I love this song. God, I love this song. But this song is actually kinda sad. Sometimes things don't work out, time passes, and you need to move on. A lovely song with heartfelt meaning, but not exactly the kind you'd like sung to you.


#2. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing (Aerosmith)

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

This is a not-too-subtle love song, crooned by Steven Tyler and his huge mouth. While at first you might think "Awww, that's so sweet," if you actually listen to the lyrics, this is one creepy-ass song. Despite what Twilight wants you to think, people watching you sleep is not romantic. It's uncomfortable. And if you miss someone while they sleep, maybe you should talk about boundaries. And their clinginess. Just maybe.

#3. I Can't Make You Love Me (Bonnie Rait, Bon Iver)

'Cause I can't make you love me, darling
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't

Obviously, I would let Justin Vernon sing this song to me anytime, anywhere. In fact, I would pay many dollars for him to sing this to me. I've accepted the fact that we'll never be together, so I think I could handle it. However, if anyone else sang this to me, I'd feel a little different. This is probably the most beautiful sounding song I know, but it's not exactly a predicting a happy ending. Also, guilt trip much?

#4. Baby (Justin Bieber)

(I'm pretty sure this was in the midst of his voice breaking. Hehehe.)

Baby, baby, baby oooh
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

I'm not gunna lie... I like this song. It has more than 130 plays on my iTunes. But the reasons that this is not a good song to serenade someone with are threefold:
1) The lyrics. If someone is going to serenade you, it'd be nice if they put the effort into a song with slightly more advanced lyrics.
2) If someone thinks that singing a song that was put out by a 15 year old is a good idea, maybe you should rethink your whole "dating a high school kid" thing. Unless you are in high school. Still, maybe reconsider.
3) If you actually pay attention to the lyrics, it's about how the Biebs' "first love broke [his] heart for the first time." So yeah, this is secretly a break-up song, hidden behind catchy choruses and happy sounding instrumentals. (Now if someone sings it to you after you dumped them.... no. Still no.)

#5. It Ain't Me Babe (Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Johnny Cash and June Carter)

You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who will promise never to part
Someone to close his eyes for you
Someone to close his heart
Someone who will die for you an’ more
But it ain’t me, babe
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe

I freaking love this song, but if someone sings this to you, I'm 90% sure you are in the process of being dumped. Sorry bro.

Do you have any other not-so-nice serenade songs? Any really good songs to have sung to you? Does anyone actually still serenade people in this day and age? Let me know it the comments!